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Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Upgrade Your Personal Dictionary

     If humans did not discover a way to communicate through words, I can't imagine a world where people grunt, point and stump to get a message across.  Google defines LANGUAGE as the method of human communication, spoken or written, that's made of words arranged in a structured or conventional way.  I speak 3 languages:  English, Filipino and my own dialect, Bicol.  (There's still a debate on the difference between languages and dialects so OK, I will count Bicol as a language[1]).  I'm quite aware that I have not perfected those three yet so I use them with care and try to mind my grammar as much as possible.

     Oopps, don't ever think for a second that I will bore you with all that stuff because the introduction is not  at all the point of this post.  Yes, it still has something to do with language but if you're not Pinoy or if you don't speak the Filipino language, please read NO further.  But if you are and you understand Filipino or Tagalog, then read on my friend.

     It's funny how sometimes we become creative with language and invent a version for our own amusement.  For instance, Filipino homosexuals have what they call "swardspeak[2]" (also known as "Bekimon" or "gay lingo") and when they talk among themselves, you might wonder whether you've gone insane or you've landed on the wrong planet.  I received a BBM broadcast from @Varrylicious a few weeks ago and just thought that I'd share the content with you guys.  It was quite a laugh and the list might surprise you on how language has definitely evolved in ways that you can't imagine.

Words/Terms That Needs To Be Added To Your Personal Dictionary

  • THE EGG - kapag mas magaling s'ya sayo, "the egg" ka n'ya.  Papa "the egg" ka ba?  

  • DUE CARE - if you're a fan of Batman movies, s'ya yung kalaban ni Batman, si "due care."  Oo, s'ya talaga.   You have to believe.

  • IN SEX - these are small invertebrate animals, especially those with several pairs of legs.  Halimbawa ng mga "in sex" ay ants, bees, bother fly, bugs...

Filipino Words Every Filipino Must Know

     This circulated on email at my workplace more that 5 years ago and found it saved on my old hard drive which I was trying to clean up earlier today.  Although a bit old, I think most of you -- especially those who can speak and understand the Filipino language quite well -- shall find this educational as well as entertaining.

     Most Filipinos are bilingual (even trilingual) and speaks fluently the two official languages of the Philippine which are Filipino and English.  But even if Filipino comes as the first language, there's a big probability that most Filipinos have not yet fully discovered the intricacies and semantics of this beautiful language which is a combination of many different tongues.

     And so, just in case you guys need further education in the Filipino language, here are some words that I think you must compel yourself to learn:

What Are Lawyers Here For?

     Time for some laugh!

     I was Googling for stuff to lighten up my mood when I stumbled upon these lawyer articles that had me laughing in stitches.  Sharing the ones that I found quite unforgettable, read on!

When Grandma Goes To Court
(This one here is my favorite which I shared on my Facebook two years ago).

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. 

     In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.  He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'  She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.  You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.  You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.  Yes, I know you.'

     The lawyer was stunned.  Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

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